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This is the article that is sometimes difficult to access. I was honored to make the front page.

 

By , Culture Critic

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, stands outside the Mini Cooper he uses to take guests on tours through San Francisco.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, stands outside the Mini Cooper he uses to take guests on tours through San Francisco. Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

In a city known for big swings and seven-figure seed rounds, Reed Kirk Rahlmann’s idea was almost painfully small.

He started his own tour company driving a Mini Cooper, a car that — concierges, competitors and strangers love to point out — will never carry more than a trio of paying customers.

“Even recently I was talking to this guy in a bar about what I do,” Rahlmann says. “And he goes, ‘You got to get a bigger car. … What if there are four people? How are you going to scale up? ’ I said, ‘Oh, I don’t think I ever want to do that.’ ”

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, drives Kenny Chen of New York and Ricardo Senno of Chicago in his Mini Cooper on a tour through San Francisco earlier this month.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, drives Kenny Chen of New York and Ricardo Senno of Chicago in his Mini Cooper on a tour through San Francisco earlier this month. Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

Rahlmann’s business, Small Car, Big Time Tours, gives the smallest human-guided vehicle tours in San Francisco (even the three-wheeled Lucky Tuk-Tuk tour holds six passengers). His history-filled custom journeys can range from Monterey to Muir Woods, but many focus squarely on San Francisco. And he may be the city’s best cheerleader of the doom loop era, cleansing visitors of their “San Francisco is a hellscape” misconceptions, no more than three at a time.

Meeting on the easternmost end of California Street on a crisp Monday where bright blue skies split the skyscrapers, Rahlmann’s parked car looks almost comically small, surrounded by a delivery truck, large sedan and two cable cars.

But the nimble advantages of a vehicle that’s just 151 inches long are apparent as soon as he zips away from the curb. 

With the top down, it feels like a magic carpet ride through the city, hosted by the ultimate insider. In one 10-minute cruise from Grace Cathedral to North Beach, Rahlmann covers the history of Charles Crocker’s spite fence and the origins of Chinatown, names his favorite little-known public bathrooms (near Musee Mecanique at Fisherman’s Wharf and behind the California Palace of the Legion of Honor) and declares the free admission to the cable car barn and powerhouse one of the best deals in the city.

“That’s how the cable cars get around!” Rahlmann says, as if he’s seeing it for the first time, instead of the 500th.

He follows this, like many anecdotes on our 1½-hour tour, with a burst of non-sequitur positivity. “This is one of the benefits of being in the Mini. You look up and you can see the city. Man, it’s stunning today!”

The Lafayette native fell in love with San Francisco during his own family visits.

“I just thought, ‘Oh my God, this place is amazing.’ It always felt like my city,” Rahlmann says. “I moved here in college and stayed, and just became one of those hopelessly romantic San Franciscans.”

 

Rahlmann attended San Francisco State University and from there took the most circuitous (and most San Francisco) route imaginable to his current job.

He was an improv comedian in the early 1980s; performed at Pier 39, walking on broken glass and driving a 4-inch nail into his nasal cavity; and worked more recently as a mentalist-for-hire under the name Sebastian Boswell III.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, left, and Greg Proops of the now-defunct Faultline comedy improv group pose for a Chronicle photographer in 1985.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, left, and Greg Proops of the now-defunct Faultline comedy improv group pose for a Chronicle photographer in 1985. Vincent Maggiora/The Chronicle

He’s also worked as a writer — for Playboy magazine, New West and the Chronicle — and acted in local television and movies, including “Howard the Duck” (1986) and “Leonard Part 6” (1987).

“Had I been in ‘Ishtar,’ ” Rahlmann quips, “I would have scored a trifecta for appearing in the biggest bombs of the late 1980s.”

When paid gigs started becoming more scarce in the early 2000s, Rahlmann answered a Craigslist advertisement for Mr. Toad’s Tours, a local company that offered trips around San Francisco in vintage automobiles.

“They asked, ‘Tell us three things you think we don’t know about San Francisco,’ ” Rahlmann said. “And I knew this was my wheelhouse, because I spent my entire adult life studying San Francisco, exploring San Francisco.”

When Mr. Toad’s shut down in 2014, Rahlmann started his own tour business. He wanted a fun car — a convertible for fresh air, a flexible tour and small groups so he could add a personal touch. The Mini Cooper seemed like a perfect fit.

“It’s a great car to see the city,” Rahlmann says. “I want people to leave with more than just a postcard. I want them to have a real sense of San Francisco — what makes it a unique and special place.”

Rahlmann goes all in on presentation. Standing outside the car in a tie and vest that match the exterior’s “British Racing Green” color, he immediately hooks up a microphone, using the Mini’s speaker system to amplify his voice, even though his most distant passenger is about 3 feet away.

Then, the guide dives into history, pointing at a laminated photo to show that half the current Financial District would have been underwater in the 1800s — before explaining how the Gold Rush turned San Francisco into a city of multiculturalism and innovation in an instant.  

But the experience is choose-your-own-adventure throughout. One married couple wanted a tour of San Francisco built around the places they met, lived and enjoyed together, so they could show their 13-year-old son. Another pair wanted to drive up the coast and photograph nature.

And some passengers, no judgment, just want to see the sights in the snow globe they purchased near Fisherman’s Wharf.

Ricardo Senno of Chicago, left, and Kenny Chen of New York enjoy a ride through Fisherman’s Wharf as chauffeured by Reed Kirk Rahlmann of Small Car Big Time Tours in San Francisco earlier this month.

Ricardo Senno of Chicago, left, and Kenny Chen of New York enjoy a ride through Fisherman’s Wharf as chauffeured by Reed Kirk Rahlmann of Small Car Big Time Tours in San Francisco earlier this month. Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

“A lot of people will say, ‘I want to go down Lombard Street, but I know it’s touristy,’ ” Rahlmann said. “And I tell them, ‘Lombard Street is fantastic. You do not have to be shy about that.’ You know, most of the things that are touristy are really freaking interesting.

The lack of instant riches is one of the few downsides to a job that has become his full-time gig; Rahlmann estimates he gives between 275 and 300 tours per year. 

With each group getting a personalized tour, often with many phone calls and emails exchanged in advance (at no extra cost), Rahlmann says his preparation can exceed the time on the road.

“And that’s fine. That’s part of it,” he says. “I want them to have the best experience possible.”

Driving on steep hills in his personal auto is another challenge — the Mini has manual transmission — to the point where Rahlmann can’t immediately answer accurately how many times he’s replaced the clutch on the 9-year-old vehicle. (He thinks it’s twice, but maybe three times?)

But Rahlmann can park in tight spaces and make a quick three-point turn on a narrow street or wide alley (try doing that in a Gray Line bus), feeding the “we can go anywhere” vibes of his tour guide philosophy.

New York resident Kenny Chen, a recent client, booked Small Car, Big Time Tours with Ricardo Senno; the childhood friends have gathered each year for the last decade to sample food in different U.S. cities.

Chen immediately knew he was not on a typical tour when they started getting calls and texts from their guide, to fine-tune a tour that included several major landmarks, Gold Rush lore and some food tips for their stay.

“It was so detailed, with so much history,” said Chen, who rated his trip with Rahlmann as the best he’s taken. “We’ve done a lot of tours and nobody pulls out an iPad and starts showing (photos) and telling you how things were 100 years ago.”

Rahlmann says he notices tiny shifts in the city through his work, such as how GPS mapping technology on phones has changed traffic patterns, clogging what were once his shortcut streets. Today, he gets more requests to see the “Mrs. Doubtfire” house at 2640 Steiner than some major landmarks. While tourists still dominate his bookings, more locals seem interested in exploring their backyard and learning the history.

Other changes are less subtle, including a couple of years ago, when out-of-town tourists began telling him, by way of introduction, “Oh, San Francisco. They told me it’s a hellscape.”

Inevitably, he says, the customers are taking it all back two hours later.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, right, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, shows historic pictures of Fort Point to Ricardo Senno of Chicago while driving him and his friend Kenny Chen of New York in his convertible Mini Cooper on a tour through San Francisco earlier this month.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, right, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, shows historic pictures of Fort Point to Ricardo Senno of Chicago while driving him and his friend Kenny Chen of New York in his convertible Mini Cooper on a tour through San Francisco earlier this month. Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

“They’ll go, ‘This is beautiful. This is fantastic. This is great. I don’t know what my friends were talking about,’ ” Rahlmann says. “And I say, ‘Spread the word. Tell them. Let them know how fantastic it is.’ ”

Rahlmann says the gig brings him closer not just to his passengers, but the rest of the city, too. He has become friendly with everyone from Lombard Street’s landscaper to the Fort Point surfers. And nine years into his tour guide business, he’s still curious, still learning new things.

Those are the days when the work feels less like Rahlmann’s job, and more like a calling.

“I love sharing history. I love showing people the city,” Rahlmann said. “I love having them leave not only just seeing sights, but having a sense of what makes San Francisco the special city that it is.

“Trying to give them a sense of why we all came here in the first place.”

Reach Peter Hartlaub: phartlaub@sfchronicle.com; Twitter: @PeterHartlaub

Dec 25, 2023
Photo of Peter Hartlaub
Culture Critic

Peter Hartlaub is The San Francisco Chronicle’s culture critic and co-founder of Total SF. The Bay Area native, a former Chronicle paperboy, has worked at The Chronicle since 2000. He covers Bay Area culture, co-hosts the Total SF podcast and writes the archive-based Our SF local history column. Hartlaub and columnist Heather Knight co-created the Total SF podcast and event series, engaging with locals to explore and find new ways to celebrate San Francisco and the Bay Area.

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

San Francisco’s Best Magic Show–Jay Alexander at the Marrakech Magic Theater

If you’re looking for an evenings entertainment, it would be difficult to do better than Jay Alexander’s show at the Marrakech Magic Theater.

Magician Jay Alexander in front of the Marrakesh Magic Theater
Magician Jay Alexander awaits to amaze you at the Marrakesh Magic Theater

Jay Alexander is one of the best magicians in the San Francisco Bay Area. Up until a few years ago, it was rare to see Jay perform in public because he is so busy performing around the world entertaining guests at corporate shows and private events. In January 2017 he opened the San Francisco Magic Theater, where he currently performs 5 shows a week, Friday-Sunday. When summer rolls around he usually adds two shows on Thursday. Check his website for the schedule.
A lot of magicians never get past the “I’m going to fool you!” phase, which was what initally attracted them to magic.  A magician above all should be entertaining; someone who can be interesting and engaging even without performing a trick. Jay is one of those performers who is professional, imaginative, really funny, and very entertaining. And an excellent magician.

Jay is primarily a mentalist, which is a form of magic that demonstrates what appears to be hightened mental skills such as ESP. The 90 minute show is family friendly, but it is not a kid’s show in that there’s not any silly colorful tricks or bunnies or puppets to hold a younger child’s attention. I would say the cut off is 12 or 13, or a precocious 10 year old.

 The lobby of the Marrakech Magic Theater is filled with Jay’s collection of magic memorabilia, so things are interesting from the moment you step through the door. You should arrive an hour before showtime to look over his collection of posters and props. 

3 posters on display from collection in the Oasis Lounge in the lobby of the Marrakesh Magic Theater

A small sample of the poster collection in the Oasis Lounge in the lobby of the Marrakesh Magic Theater

Food and drinks are available to relax with in the Oasis Lounge, and there is a good chance you get to see close-up magic. The theater itself is anintamate jewel box and holds around 40 people, so every seat is good.

Jay is a buddy of mine, but I would recommend him even if he wasn’t. He’s a great performer, and the show is memorable. Treat yourself to an evening you won’t forget.

419 O’Farrelll St.
San Francisco, 94102
415-794-6893

http://www.sanfranciscomagictheater.com/

A Hidden Gem–Panoramic View of San Francisco–Free

San Francisco, having been built on hills, has an abundance of views. Some you pay for, such as the top of Coit Tower or the bar at the top of the Mark Hopkins Hotel. (The bar is named “Top of the Mark.” What it lacks in imagination makes up for in clarity. The bar itself is as underwhelming as the view is spectacular. But I digress….)
One of the best free views is a hidden gem that most San Franciscan’s don’t know about. And even though it is located behind a building on the UCSF Medical School Campus, most students and faculty don’t know about it either.
And since very few people know about this panoramic view from the Pacific to downtown, with the Golden Gate Bridge in the middle distance.
There are benches which you will probably have to yourself. The campus student union is close by, so you could get a snack to enjoy while you take in the view.
Visit here, and you will have experienced a view 99.5% of visitors never see, and almost equal number of residents don’t know about either.
Another free view is the DeYoung Museum Tower in Golden Gate Park.

Sign at 400 Parnassus View of Pacific from 400 Parnassus View of downtown San Francisco from 400 Parnassus View west, with benches and tables, from behind 400 Parnassus Benches to relax while looking at the view of behind 400 Parnassus

Where to see redwoods IN San Francisco.

Many visitors to San Francisco want to include a trip to Muir Woods to see the redwoods. I often take guests there, which includes traveling over the Golden Gate Bridge in the convertible MINI, which is the essence of a California experience.
The Muir Woods trees are beautiful, often, and correctly, described as majestic. But if you don’t have the time or desire to leave the San Francisco, there is a place in San Francisco to experience redwoods.
There is a grove of redwoods in Golden Gate Park. Actually, there are a couple. One is located inside the Botanical Gardens. It is nice, but a small grove. The Botanical Gardens are worth a visit, if you’re into gardens and different landscapes. Map of Golden Gate park with Rose garden and Redwood grove
On the north side of the park, just over the fill from the Japanese Tea Garden, next to the Rose Garden, is a large grove of redwoods. Within a few steps of walking down the path, you’re surrounded by the trees and you can easily forget you’re in a city, with a major street just a nearby. The path dips down a little, then slowly rises.
You’re in a forest, but in the city.

Redwood trees Golden Gate Park next to Rose Garden
It doesn’t have to scope of Muir Woods, but on the other hand, it isn’t as crowded. It is not overrun with bus loads of visitors clomping through the paths. It is quiet and peaceful, which allows you to appreciate these trees they way they should be experienced.
Redwood trees in Golden Gate Park, next to Rose Garden

What are you in the mood for? Take a look around. A variety of cuisines line the streets.

The choice of restaurants in San Francisco can feel overwhelming. We have more restaurants per capita than any city in the United States.

Embrace the opportunity. Next time you’re visiting San Francisco, or any other city for that matter. Just pick a restaurant.

Outside of the big tourist areas, restaurants need to be good because if they weren’t, they wouldn’t last. San Franciscan’s have a lot of choices, and we love to talk about food. Word and restaurants spreads fast: is the place great, good, fine, or to be avoided? Also, people who go through the difficult and byzantine process of opening a restaurant (a task omitted as one of the 12 labors of Hercules as being too daunting even for him), have a passion to provide the best food possible.

On a walk the other day I took note of what there was to choose from on just half a block on Post street near Jones in Lower Nob Hill.

Different restaurants in the 700 block of Post St, San Francisco.

The Public Izakaya next to Pearl’s Deluxe Hamburgers next to Chuy’s Fiestas next to EM Korean Deli next to iThia Bangkok . That’s what I could fit into one photo. Just up the street next to Goodwill is Farm Table.

Ramen or burgers or a burrito or kimchi konjack or tom kha gai or a sandwich of the day made with locally sourced ingredients.

So what are you in the mood for?

Remember this rule of traveling: Stop trying to make every dining experience mind-blowingly special. Some places will be better than others, but rarely (unless you insist on dining at Fisherman’s Wharf) will it be disappointing or terrible. Especially in San Francisco. And there’s more to eating than the food. There’s the atmosphere, vibe, and location. It will be special if you experience it like a local and just enjoy.

On my page Where Should We Eat there is a link to the San Francisco Chronicle’s Best Restaurants in various neighborhoods.
Also check out this Map of Immigrant Influence of San Francisco’s food culture

The Public Izakaya, 700 Post St. 5pm-2am 415-658-7588
Pearl’s Deluxe Hamburgers, 708 Post Street St Mon-Thu 11am.-10pm, Fri-Sat 11am-11pm, Sun Noon-9pm 415.409.6120
Chuy’s Fiestas 710 Post St 10am-11pm Mon-Thurs., 10am-12mid Fri-Sat., Closed Sunday 415-529-1323
EM Korean Deli 714 Post St San Francisco 11am-9pm 415-374-7639
iThia Bangkok Street Food 720 Post St 11am-12mid Mon-Thurs, 11am-1am Friday, 4pm-1am Sat-Sun. 415-345-9999
Farm:Table 754 Post St. 9am-2pm Thurs-Sat., 10-3pm Sunday 415-300-5652

The Best of San Francisco Wine Bars. I discovered a new wine bar. It’s a hidden gem I should keep secret, but I’m here to serve you so I won’t. You’re welcome.

If you give a cursory read of my website you will soon understand I love San Francisco wine bars. I’ve written about include InoVino, Hotel Biron, and Amelie. With wine bars, as with all drinking and dining establishments, atmosphere is the most important element. Serving good food and wine in a room with blank walls and bland furniture would make the experience purely functional, like having a serving of burrata and drinking a glass of good Zin in a drab hospital room. I know “drab hospital room” is redundant but you get the idea. You want your wine bar to have a personality, a personality that you enjoy and and look forward to spending time with. You don’t want it to have the personality of the dull uncle you fear getting stuck next to at family gatherings.

The patio wine bar in San Francisco Wine and Cheese.

San Francisco Wine and Cheese–A True Hidden Gem

San Francisco Wine and Cheese not only has a charming personality, it has good wine and good food. Putting the “hidden” in hidden gems, it is a store you would easily walk by, not knowing it existed, let alone open. I know I did many, many times.

You have to ring a bell to be let in. The owner, Shirley, got tired of people walking in and walking out with wine or meat or cheese or whatever else they could grab. So you must ring for Shirley, who will greet you with a big smile and welcome you inside.

The door of San Francisco Wine and Cheese.

In the front is the shop, well stocked with wine, charcuterie, cheese, snacks, and tea. Through the store is the back patio, where you can order glasses of wine and food. And, if you buy a bottle of wine for $30 or more, you can drink it on the patio for free. Since the standard measurement is 5 glasses to a bottle, this is a screaming deal, possibly the best deal in town.

The enclosed bar area has the unassuming feel of a neighbor’s backyard patio. There are potted plants, crowded shelves, assorted chairs and stools and tables and barrels that serve as tables. It is casual, it is friendly, it is small as wine bars go, and all pretensions have been left outside. Just enjoy.

The kind of place you brag about discovering.

This is truly a locals treasure. As a good traveler, which I assume you are because you’re reading this, you want to find places like this one: the neighborhood spots and that many of the residents of the city don’t know about, and certainly very, very, few visitors. They have the personality of the owner, and are therefor unique. You will brag about finding San Francisco Wine and Cheese when you return home, where the less skilled travelers will be envious of you.

The charming patio, with plants, in San Francisco Wine and Cheese.


I’ve revealed a secret. It is up to you to take advantage and enjoy it.

You’re welcome.

San Francisco Wine and Cheese

141 Gough St. San Francisco, CA 94102

Tuesday to Saturday, 12am–8pm PST

Phone: 510-816-4508

Is San Francisco Safe? In a word-Yes. Even the Tenderloin

On a Facebook page about San Francisco travel, the top question is some version of “Is San Francisco safe?” Most people respond with an hysterical “Avoid the Tenderloin!”  Usually these posts are from people who have never even seen the Tenderloin.

Map of Tenderloin in San Francisco. It is a poor neighborhood, not a dangerous one.

There are More Dangerous Cities Than San Francisco

First of all, San Francisco is safe. It in not even in the top 20 most dangerous cities.

San Francisco is a city. Cites have problems a suburb doesn’t. A city also has more culture, sites, entertainment, restaurants, museums and general excitement and simulation than the suburbs. That’s why people come to San Francisco on when they travel and not Walnut Creek.

The big crime is San Francisco is breaking into cars, and even that has dropped dramatically. If you don’t have a car, you’re already ahead of the game. The other crime is dipping into your purse or backpack when you’re not looking, so keep it zipped and pay attention. Thieves want your stuff, as easy as possible. If you make it difficult they move on to someone else. No one wants to hurt you to get your stuff. That’s too much trouble, and alerts the cops.

As for The Tenderloin, it has poor people, not dangerous people. There’s a big difference. Many of the residents live in SRO’s or Single Room Occupancy. It is a room, sometimes with a wash basin. The bathroom is down the hall. Think of it as a dorm room, small, and not as nice as most dorm rooms. It’s not enjoyable to have a lot of people inside, so social life is hanging out on the sidewalk. That’s where they meet friends, and they don’t want to bother you. Same with homeless people.

Drug Use in the Tenderloin

True, people buy and use drugs in the Tenderloin. Drug dealers want to keep things quiet, which means keeping things safe for the people who wander into the area. If people get hurt, cops show up and that’s bad for business. 

The Tenderloin is a Family Neighborhood

The Tenderloin has the most children per square block of any neighborhood in San Francisco. It is also an immigrant neighborhood. There are good restaurants to serve the locals.

The Tenderloin is uncomfortable to witness. That is not the same as being dangerous. Of course I don’t suggest you stroll through it late at night not paying attention, but I wouldn’t suggest that for any neighborhood.

Stop listening to the fear mongers, especially the spittletwists and clatterjaws on Fox News. San Francisco is safe.

Map of Immigrant Influence of San Francisco’s food culture

San Francisco has more restaurants per capita than any other American city. And many of those restaurants reflect cooking from their home country. This map shows the history and influence of various cuisines. And some are origin stories of what are now familiar food.
This includes audio stories about each restaurant or store. This map is a project of the California Migration Museum.

Melting Spots Immigrant Food Map

Immigrant Food Map of San Francisco

By the way, the Garlic Noodles at Thanh Long are worth the trip to the outer, outer Sunset District. They will change your life. Plus very few visitors ever make it out that far, so you not only have an amazing meal, you will have bragging rights.

Were should we eat? A link that will get you started on San Francisco restaurant search.

San Francisco is a food town. We have more restaurants per capita than any other American city. Not more restaurants, because San Francisco’s population is small compared to other cities. We’re smaller than Columbus, Indianapolis, and Charlotte. But per person, we have more places to eat than New York, LA, and Chicago.
The choice can be overwhelming. There is anxiety to get the best meal possible every time you eat. It is best to get rid of this fear, because while every meal may not be mind blowing, it’s going to be pretty damn good. Unless you eat at most of the places on Fisherman’s Wharf, but that’s another story. A lot of the restaurants there thrive on the visiting tourists, not repeat customers.
Because San Franciscan’s love food, each neighborhood has many excellent restaurants that cater to the locals. If they weren’t good, they’d go out of business.
I’ve listed a lot of restaurants on my website. I also have recommendations I send to my guests.
The San Francisco Chronicle is a good resource for searching. The Chronicle has excellent food critics, and their recommendations and articles can be found here:
San Francisco Chronicle Food.

The search tool is a bit wonky, but worth a go. I’ve found the articles more useful.

 

Keys Jazz Club–Jazz in North Beach

So you’re in San Francisco, had a great dinner (and if you didn’t, you made an effort not to, or insisted on eating on Fisherman’s Wharf), and are wondering how to end the evening. Guests often ask “Where can I hear live jazz?” Fortunately, there are a many good jazz venues.

Keys Jazz Bistro Live Jazz in San Francisco North Beach

Keys Jazz Club in North Beach is a local’s favorite. They have a good happy hour. The club is intimate and every seat is good. As is the food. And drinks. And staff.

Keys Jazz Bistro Happy hour and late night menu

And of course, the music.

The Listening Room is where you see the band at Keys Jazz Bistro. You can sit in the lounge if you want to socialize and still hear music.

There are two sets Wednesday through Sunday, with an additional late set on Saturday. Prices vary depending on the show. All ages are welcome.

The last time I was a Keys, I got tickets for the early set and was allowed to stay for the second set. I’m not going to say this is a regular perk of getting to the early set, but it’s possible if the second set is lightly ticketed they’ll let you stay. It’s not guaranteed, but it has been my experience in other clubs in other cities that they’d rather have a venue full of people who appreciate jazz, rather then be strict about kicking people out when a set is over.

North Beach audience enjoying the band on stage at Keys Jazz Bistro.

 

There are few places as good as this to end your night right. Take advantage.

Keys Jazz Bistro
498 Broadway in North Beach
Corner of Kearny, and a block down from Columbus Ave

I tried to find a phone number and I don’t think they have one. The website is good enough.

 

 

 

 

Travel Hack: what to do if you buy more stuff than will fit in your luggage

A few years ago I was in Paris and went to a flea market. Not the big Les Puces de Saint Ouen, which is always worth hunting for things you never knew you needed. This was a weekend flea market, set up nearby.
I found an object I had never seen before or since. It was a 1930’s countertop lamp with 4 sides, meant to sit on the concession stand or a shelf in a movie theater lobby. It stood about 10 inches high, and glass slides were placed on each side to promote a movie, illuminated by a bulb. The slides could be removed for each new feature.
Not only was it strange and unique, it was a good price. I would have bought it except for one problem: how to get it home.
My luggage was stuffed to the point it created its own gravity. It wouldn’t accommodate a tissue, let alone a countertop lamp.
I couldn’t ship it because it was a Sunday, every shipping option was closed, and my flight left early in the morning. I had to let it go. The loss still pains me, as I think of it as the one that got away.
So what to do if you should you buy more than you intended, or something larger than will fit in your baggage, and the shipping options are unavailable or too expensive?

Buy a cheap suitcase in Chinatown.

Cheap luggage on a Chinatown sidewalk.

The luggage you see displayed on the sidewalks in Chinatown are correctly displayed. They are functional trash. They are cheaply made with poor quality materials and the prices reflect this. But they will last one flight. Maybe even two, but you’ll only need one.
Even if you have to pay for an extra bag, it might be close to what you would pay for shipping, and possible cheaper. If you buy a carry-on size, you can get it checked for free when the airline invariably asks passengers if anyone wants to check their carry bag at the gate.

Cheap Chinatown luggage.

Don’t pass up buying that amazing thing because you lack luggage space. Chinatown has all you need. Including cold drinks and fireworks.

Cold drinks and fireworks sign in Chinatown

Specs’–the Best Dive Bar in San Francisco

Years ago in Hamburg a friend I and were wandering and came across Harry’s Harbor Bazaar. As I remember it was two buildings, connected by an upstairs doorway created by bashing through adjacent walls. It was a three story warren, a maze, a labyrinth, crammed with stuff supposedly collected from an old pub that accepted things like masks, shrunken heads, carvings, idols, and musical instruments sailors brought from their travels and traded for booze. You could buy most anything on display, but the majority of people just walked the aisles stunned not only by the oddity but the sheer vastness of the collection. It has changed owners and locations since I was there, but it still retains the charm of an overstuffed Natural History museum storage room arranged in haste for an inspection.

One of the many idols you will see at Specs. The walls and shelves at Specs are filled with antiques, treasures, and oddities.

The collection at Specs’ Twelve Adler Museum Café, or Specs’, isn’t as big, not by a longshot. It’s a bar, after all, not a warehouse-as-museum. But what it lacks in size more than makes up for by serving drinks to a cast of North Beach regulars who fit nicely into the ambiance the artifacts create.

There is dust on the upper shelves and stuff too far away for someone to reach, because if someone can’t touch it why bother dusting it? The walls and ceilings are brown from decades of burning tobacco and occasional pot, a reminder of times when smoking was allowed indoors. It is cramped and therefor friendly. You will likely have to squeeze by other patrons, maybe even share one of the bigger tables, and the close proximity inspires spontaneous casual conversations.

Some of the North Beach regulars hanging out at Specs.

If you’re lucky, you may wander in when there is music, book reading, or sketch class.

Mr. Lucky and the band performing at Specs.

Spec’s is the kind of bar a good traveler hopes to discover. It’s off the tourist path, has a unique eccentricity, and caters to the locals.

I encourage my guests to get a drink here, Tosca across the alley, and Vesuvio’s across the street. The three bars put together give a good overview of the spirit of North Beach.

And if there isn’t music at Spec’s you can go to Key’s Jazz Club just up the street on Broadway.

Specs’ Twelve Adler Museum Cafe

12 William Saroyan Place, 94133  Phone 415-421-4112

4pm-1am, 2am Thursday-Saturday

Small Car Big Time Tours makes the San Francisco Chronicle

On Christmas day, 2023, I got a great present.
A front page story in the San Francisco Chronicle. And it was above the fold. For those not familiar with newspaper jargon, “above the fold” is where a paper puts the eye grabbing stories. Not bad.
I got to spend time with reporter Peter Hartlaub. We traveled all over the city, talking about San Francisco history. He, like me, loves the city.

Reed and the MINI. Photographer: Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

Me and the MINI Cooper about to take guests out for a private San Francisco tour. Photographer: Jessica Christian/The Chronicle

Big props must go to photographer Jessica Christian. She made me look good. I’m not a bad-looking guy in person, but somehow I take lousy pictures. Or maybe I just think that, such as people generally don’t like hearing their own voice. Whatever the reason I don’t like photos of myself, I like what I see with what Jessica took. These are not photo shopped. She’s has the mad skills.

Fire Hydrants and Friends–my photo hobby

A few years ago I noticed that people will dispose of unwanted stuff next to fire hydrants. These items are never put in the middle of the sidewalk, and only rarely, on a corner without a hydrants.

Chair and frying pan next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

I only have a vague theory about why people do this. Not the throwing stuff on the street aspect. It’s clear why that happens: people either put it out on the street convincing themselves it is a somewhat benevolent notion because someone will want it, or, more likely, they’re just dumping it knowing sooner or later the city will pick it up.

Basket and boxes next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

But why next to a hydrant? I think it’s because since something is already on the street, i.e. the hydrant, then it is fair game to put other stuff next to it. This theory does not apply to trash cans, as putting trash next to a trash can would appear lazy or redundant.

Cat Tree next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

I started taking photos of these objects.

Christmas tree stand next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

Occasionally when I’m taking people out on a tour of San Francisco, I notice abandoned semi-junk next to fire hydrants. I will often, usually, ask my guests permission to stop the tour clock for a minute while get out of the MINI and snap the display.

Scooter and raquets next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

It is possible that on your private tour of San Francisco, you may have an opportunity to indulge me in my hobby.

Green chair next to a fire hydrant in San Francisco.

 

Green Apple Books—The Best Used (and New) Bookstore in San Francisco

My apartment is filled with books. What books don’t fit on shelves are stacked next to my bed, my current read (usually on some aspect of San Francisco or California history) within easy reach so I can fill my head with stories and facts before falling asleep. There are also books occupying floor space, and there are a couple of bins in the storeroom filled with books I read and perhaps will one day get rid of but probably not.
There is a Japanese word for acquiring more books than you might get around to reading:Tsundoku. Some dismiss this as little more than book hoarding. They are wrong. Being surrounded by books is different than navigating piles of string too short to throw away and a mountain of broken toaster ovens found on the street.
Most of the books in my tsundoku shrine came from Green Apple books
Green Apple Books--Best Used bookstore in San Francisco
If you like bookstores, and the most best travelers do, Green Apple should be a destination on your visit to San Francisco.
There are three floors of books, connected by a small warren of staircases.
It smells like a bookstore. A bit musty, an olfactory quality from the various ages and conditions of the millions of pages between thousands of covers.
One of the many staircases in Green Apple Books
“Used bookstore smell” should be included in the vocabulary of sommeliers. It would describe a wine I’d buy a case of. But I digress.
More books! Green Apple always has more books to discover.
Speaking of wine, this is a dangerous place for me to visit after a couple of glasses. I always find a book I need, or just want, or just feels right in my hand no matter when I go to Green Apple. But under the influence of a good Malbec or Zin, I discover more books than usual to feed my tsundoku habit.
Green Apple Books is located on Clement St in the Richmond District. This is an overlooked street that should not be overlooked. After wandering the aisles, you can go to The Blue Danube for coffee and read your new acquisitions.  Or go to one of the bars. Few things in life are better than a glass of wine and a good book. Enjoy yourself like a local.
Green Apple Books 506 Clement St. (at 6th Ave) 415-387-2272 Open daily 10am-9pm

Chocolate Covered—The Best, Biggest Little Chocolate Store in the World (probably)

Maybe not the world, but definitely San Francisco and if I had a mortgage I would bet it on the assumption there aren’t any shops small with such a variety of chocolate. The selection is so vast you could get lost in it except you can’t because shop isn’t any wider and longer than a stretch limo.

Chocolate Covered San Francisco.

The store is narrow, but tall.  Entering you experience a sense of delight and wonder because you’ve never seen anything like it before. Chocolate from around the globe cram shelves 7 feet high. There are chocolate bars, of course, but also novelty shapes (such as cars and baseballs), and small single wrapped bites.

Chocolate bars in Chocolate Covered San Francisco.--What you can see on a private tour of the city.

Chocolate makers from around the world contact the shop to let them know of their latest artisan products and inventive flavors. The shop has been around since 1994, and the owner, Jack Epstein claims “1,248 different chocolate bars in here, from over 28 countries, from more than 125 different companies.”

Tins and chocolate cover the walls of Chocolate Covered in San Francisco.

What wall space isn’t covered in chocolate is covered with tins you fill with chocolate. Photos of what looks like every street sign in San Francisco are available, which reminded me of those rack of souvenir license plates that have names. Except mine. The racks never had “Reed,” so I never got a little license plate at a roadside gift shop. There is a “Reed” street in San Francisco.

Reed Kirk Rahlmann, owner of Small Car Big Time Tours, holding a tin with his name on it.

Chocolate Covered is off the usual tourist path, but worth the detour if you love chocolate. Even if you’re just indifferent to chocolate it’s worth the trip.

4069 24th Street (Noe Valley)
San Francisco, CA 94114
Ph: (415) 641-8123

New May Wah–A Grocery Store with Everything You Never Knew You Wanted

Not everything about visiting a city is the major sites, tourist attractions, and eating at restaurants from the Food Network. Those should not be overlooked, because a site like the Golden Gate Bridge is famous for a reason, Fisherman’s Wharf does have a history hidden behind the overabundance of tee-shirt shops. Even the Food Network can get it right once in a while, although when a restaurant gets on television getting a reservation is less likely than finding a magic unicorn who spits winning lottery tickets.

To experience a city like a local, you’ve got to do what locals do. In San Francisco, stroll around a neighborhood with no destination in mind. Go to a restaurant at least a mile from Fisherman’s Wharf. Go to a grocery store, especially the New May Wah in the overlooked Richmond District.

New May Wah Supermarket on Clement StreetI’m betting you don’t have a store like the New May Wah in your town and if you do, consider yourself lucky and blessed and the envy of those who don’t.

The New May Wah is neighborhood market on Clement St, which used to be known as Little Chinatown. It carries a lot of ingredients for Chinese dishes, and more. Oh, so much more. And you want it. You don’t know you want it, but once you see it, you’ll ask where has this been all my life?

There are shelves of potato chips with flavors far beyond anything you’ll find at a suburban supermarket.  The selection changes regularly and every time I go in I find something new.  Squid. Spicy Squid. Cucumber. Tzatziki. I got “Duck Neck” flavor once. As I’ve never eaten a duck neck I’m going to take their word that’s what it tastes like when infused in a chip . Authenticity aside, it was tasty.

There is an entire aisle devoted to sauces and condiments not only from China, but Japan, Mexico, Korea, Indonesia, England and those are only the countries I can remember. Buy something from this section to spice up meals back home.

Potato chips at the New May Wah

Sauces and condiments at the New May Wah.

There is also a vast array of candy from every corner of the globe. Some of these are worth buying just because of the whimsically surreal packaging. This is the kind of souvenir everyone back home will love. Also a fun place to bring the kids. Much more entertaining than the M&M store in Times Square.

At the New May Wah you’ll spend time with the locals and experience San Francisco like we get to. This is the type of store you will talk to your friends about when you get back home. They will enjoy the exotic treats you bring them, and be impressed you saw something more than the usual stuff, which, as I said, are worth seeing.

New May Wah 707 Clement St, San Francisco, CA 94118 8:30am-7pm everyday

My Stupid but Functional Hat

I have a cool car. The convertible Green MINI, which I am proud to say is the only MINI Cooper convertible registered as a commercial vehicle in the United States.

But I wear a really uncool hat.

I don’t like the sun, so of course I created a business where I’m in the sun all day. So I wear my functional but stupid hat.

Reed and the green Mini and a guest. My guest is wearing a fine hat. Mine is stupid.

I try to look nice. I wear a suit and tie on tours. The tie is green, as is my pocket square. My vest has green stripes, and sometimes I wear green shoes. Most tour guides dress like they rolled out of bed and put on the first thing they picked up from the floor. I like to have a little style.

But I haven’t found a cool hat that will keep the sun off. So I wear a ugly functional one.

Me and my stupid hat and my cool guests, next to the San Francisco bay by the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Fortunately, my guests don’t seem to mind. That’s because I get to give great San Francisco private tours to fun and interesting people, who overlook my stupid hat.  And, as you can see from this picture, it doesn’t always keep the sun off me.

I really need to get a better hat.

Pros and Cons of MINI Cooper San Francisco Private Tours

There are many tour options in San Francisco. You can take a big bus, a minivan, and SUV, even a firetruck. You can also tour the city in a convertible MINI Cooper. Here are the pros can cons of various tour options.
Big bus Tours-Pros. You get to sit up high (unless you have to sit down below). You have the fun of standing around on the sidewalk when you get out to visit a site. Since the busses are banned from many places in San Francisco, you don’t have to worry about making choices or seeing too much. You get exercise by walking several blocks to the sites you really want to see, such as the Painted Ladies and Lombard St. Cons: You may miss a bus at a pickup point, or get lost. Not private a private tour.

Van Tours- Pros: You get to share your vacation time with strangers, who will want to talk about subjects other than the tour so you won’t be bored learning about the city. You don’t have to think about where you’re going or for how long, as you are on a schedule. If you’re lucky enough to sit next to a window, you can pretend you’re watching the city on television. Cons: When you look up you see the roof of the car, not the city. Not a private tour.

Private MINI Cooper Tour: Pros: Door to door pickup and drop off. Stop where you want, as long as you want. Flexible itinerary, time of pickup, and duration. Go anywhere. No sharing tour time with strangers. In the convertible you’re IN the city all the time. Photo ops every moment. Knowledgeable guide with 25 years studying, exploring, and writing about San Francisco. See the big sites and hidden gems. The tour is all about you. Cons: Can only take 3 people.